Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Attaching & Cacooning

I am going to post some links to some blogs I have read about the first days, weeks and months home with an adoptive child.  For those of you who are going to be in my kids' lives in one way or another I would appreciate you taking time to read!!!  I could've put some things into my own words...I have been to trainings and read lots of books in the past two years.  I will have a tough job ahead of me to help my children attach to me...and I have to do this all by myself...as I am the only other person who will be living with them.  The idea is for the first 6+ weeks that I hold, feed, clean and meet every little need of my child and no one else does.  This is to help my little guy's brain as well as to let him know he no longer needs to depend on large numbers of adults to care for him and that he has me, his mama to meet his needs.  It may be tempting to want to pick him up or give him a treat, but at least at first I have to be the one to do this...it is for his good and will help him to build relationships with everyone else in the future...k guess I got to talking here...so below are some good reads.

http://yestoadoption.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-is-cocooning-and-why-are-you-doing.html

http://slowmama.com/adoption-2/the-cocooning-stage/

http://omearasplusone.blogspot.com/2012/09/attachment-and-cocooning-explanation.html

http://amomentcherished.blogspot.com/2011/02/planning-for-attachment-bonding.html

http://www.pureandlasting.com/coming-out-of-our-cocoon-the-grandparents-holding-maya/

There are LOTS more...google cacooning & attachment in adoption...you will hit LOTS of reads.  While EVERYONE will think they want to hug, kiss and smother my kiddos with love, you may be surprised...a friend of mine brought her little girl home about a month ago and I have seen her a few times....all I want to do when I am in their presence is look at them!  I am in awe!  I feel it very special that I have been allowed to have short visits!  I know it would not be good if this little one wanted to come to me, sit with me, be held by me!  She needs ONLY her mama for that right now, and then with time she can get that from others!!!  It is complicated, but also pretty simple...although my first little guy will be nearly 3, you can look at us as newborn baby and mama....he will be a newborn to family life!  I know we pass the baby around at the hospital but really we all agree baby should be with mom, nearly 24/7 for the first part of life!

K, thats all for today!

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