Well, it has been two years, I have been doing A LOT of thinking over my life in the past two years....beginning July 25, 2011. Although I am completely still ME, I have changed SO much. When I officially began on this adoption journey, I had NO idea what I was getting into! I knew there would be a home study. I knew there would be a child.
When I talk to people today, I am not sure if much of what I am saying makes any sense, as 2 years ago I would not understand! I tell people about dossiers and IBESR. I mention I am in MOI or some other stage. People repeatedly ask, "Why does it take so long?" I don't know, it just does! I never knew how long it would take. I kinda figured I would have a child with me a year after I started the process. Now nearly two years later I am childless at home. (I know blog posts are a whole lot more fun to read when there are lots of pictures, but truly this is really just for me to look back on some day so...but there is a video at the end :-))
Last month I had a garage sale to help fund my adoptions and a good friend of mine said, "When God orders it, God pays for it!" I love this. During the sale LOTS was sold, LOTS of money was raised and I was able to share with LOTS of strangers who genuinely seemed to care. One of these strangers said I did not have to answer her, but she wondered how much international adoption costs. I told her. She said, "Oh, I thought it was like $5000!" Wowzers! I am in awe though, as I come upon the 2 year mark and get close to bringing kiddo #1 home, that most of the money is here and that agency fees and first international fees for #2 are already paid for! This woman who asked me at the garage sale seemed to look at me for a second like, Well you must be rich! Do RICH people work themselves to exhaustion at a garage sale to raise $$$? Maybe they do, but no, I am not rich!
I spent over a year WAITING. Waiting, waiting, waiting. It is a hard thing to do, but also a good thing. All our lives we are told to be patient! I think I'm a fairly patient person, but I have become even more so throughout this journey. This is a journey of redemption. This is not God's perfect plan. Because His perfect plan is broken over and over again, He finds ways to bring healing and fix it as best as He can and adoption is one of those ways. I get to be a part of this. God's perfect plan was not for my little guy to lose his mother and for his father to have to give him up due to lack of food. This happened though and now I get to be part of the puzzle to bringing healing and hope into his life.
I had no idea that adoption meant FBI background checks and fingerprinting, over and over again! I had no knowledge of USCIS...or i-600a's....paperwork I would need to fill out and get fingerprinted again for, in order to call an orphan from another country my immediate relative. I have gone through this whole process twice now. The first time I was okayed for one child. Had I decided 2, I would not have had to do the process a second time (which means more $$$). So this 2nd time, I have been okayed for 2 more....that is not in MY plan, to adopt 2 more, but I am okayed for it anyways.
37. Today I am 37. A single woman needs to be 35 to adopt from Haiti. Meaning, I could not start the process until I was 35 (or this was my understanding) and now I am 37! Six months ago today I left Haiti. Truly I left some of me in Haiti. I did not understand and was not prepared for the pain and loss I would feel upon coming home. I sobbed on one of the flights. The pain did not subside for nearly a month....a month that I spent tirelessly finishing a 2nd dossier to send to Haiti for kiddo #2. Then, in March, Mackenley became a Kraft. I began to look forward and the pain began to ease as I anticipated him coming home.
I entered MOI (Ministry of Interior) on May 14, 2013. Some families right around this time got out of MOI in 2 weeks. Yes, I told EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE that he would be home for sure by mid July. And now July has come and nearly gone. Our paperwork is still in MOI. It will come out, SOME DAY. He will be issued a passport. He will be issued a VISA and I will go get him! When this will be, only God knows! That little ticker on the side of my blog is a painful reminder of just how long this takes! He has been there, at GLA since I began this journey.
I have much to look forward to. Today my mom and I visited Child Development Centers near my school. I sat there watching little 2, 3 and 4 year olds yearning to have him here. Excited to watch him learn and grow and someday count, say his ABC's and maybe even presidents! Oh my, in one 4 year old class the kids recited all 44 presidents in unison! It was awesome!
This next year, from today til my next birthday is gonna be filled with a whole lot of firsts! I trust he will be here this fall. I know I don't need to list all the things I am excited about, but I have never been a parent before so bear with me!!!! We are gonna go on bike rides (well he will ride in the cart), walk to the park, play/visit his GLA friends, Saraphina and Kimberlie, carving pumpkins, meeting all of his family, haircuts (or maybe we shall grow it, you do know I love to braid!), leaves, Thanksgiving, SNOW, Christmas, SNOW :-), and yes of course the list goes on and on....I am also SO looking forward to the little things...reading books, eating meals with him, tucking him in, giving him baths, hugs, cuddles, putting band aids on (if needed, and I am sure they will be needed!), oh so many things! I am starting to ramble so I will conclude.
I thank each and everyone of you who have prayed me through this journey. It is not over yet. The side of my kids not being with me is almost 1/2 over. We still have #2 to go through all of this with!!! IT IS ALL WORTH IT! And I thank the LORD over and over again daily!!!! Thank you for calling me to this. Thank you for finding me worthy of being a mother to the ones you have chosen for me. I am honored and all GLORY in YOUR'S Lord!!!! I will continue to live each day to the fullest! I have compiled a video with some pics...some of Haiti, Mackenley and my life here at home as I wait...and YES, I did include one of me CRYING as well as one of me flipping. Yep, sometimes I CRY and CRY, and sometimes I flip or hang out with REALLY, really cool kids as well as braiding hair!