Lately (over the past month) I have been in complete AWE over the lasts or the "next times" that we are going through and taking Mack through them with me!
"Buddy, this is the last Christmas without Clara! She will be here next Christmas!"
"Next time we pick out a tree, Clara will be with us."
"Next time you open your stocking, your sister will be opening her's too!"
As I have been in the process of taking the tree down (it's still up), I keep thinking, "Wow, next time I do this Clara will be sitting here watching too."
"Next time I hide these silly elves I will be hiding 2."
There are times Mack and I are sitting on our chair and a half, snuggling that I ask him, "Can you imagine another person being here?" He says, "Who? My sister?" "Yes," I respond! I ask him where she will sit and he always points right beside him. He says they will never fight, they will always play and they will be best friends forever!
With the EXTREME excitement and hope and anticipation I have, there is of course a bit of grieving because as I bathe Mack, sing to Mack, read to him, watch his favorite shows and tuck him in, lying there until I am sure he is asleep, I can hardly imagine what this will be like with two. I think at times harder and many times it will also be easier. I worry over his heart and what he will go through after having me ALL to himself and now making room for his sister that he has desired to have home as fiercely as I have.
He keeps telling me, "Mommy! Guess what? It's almost Jesus' birthday!"
I tell him, "Buddy, first it has to be Martin Luther King day, then Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, summer, 4th of July, your birthday and OH WAIT, your sister will come home somewhere in here and you and I will both go to Haiti!!!!! and then you will go to kindergarten, dress up for Halloween, Thanksgiving and YES, then buddy, we can hide your beloved Chippy the Elf again, decorate the house, pick out a tree and then it will be Jesus' Birthday, then it will be Christmas!
In Less then two months I have to choose a kindergarten! Pray for me! Pray for us! I plan to apply to a private Christian school but am also praying over the schools in our area that are Minneapolis Public Schools. I will make some visits. I also need prayer over ME and where I shall work next year!!!!!!! Only God knows! Hopefully VERY SOON you will be hearing from me again, letting you know that my Clara has a passport!!!!!! Keep praying and thank you all for your financial and prayer support!!!!!
LOVE from Jenny, Mack and Clara
