Bringing Mack Home

This has to have been one of the most difficult yet rewarding experiences to date.  I arrive at GLA on Friday morning, October, 11, his "Gotcha Day," and life is no longer as it was, for either of us.  He is handed to me and off we go.

He no longer spends his days wandering around the nursery with nannies and 50 or so kids.  That may sound like a good thing, but this was his normal, his reality, and what he was used to.  So as much comfort, care, etc. etc. I can offer him, his world has just been flipped upside-down.  Mine has too of course.

We go to the Baptist Mission.  A place I have longed to return to since I was a 4th grader!  The memories flood back!  Ordering food, eating food, shopping at the store and on the street are not the same with a 3 year old (who is barely the size of a 2 year old) in your arms who will not let me set him down.  He must be scared to death!  He knows he should love me.  I keep telling him I love him....but can he understand?  I mean we don't speak the same language!

Not everyone gets the attachment deal.  Everyone wants to "OOOH" and "AAAAH" at this little guy.  Everyone wants to touch him and say his name and be his buddy.  Put yourself in his shoes!  I am to be the one and ONLY to care for him for quite some time.  When he reaches his arms to someone else, I am to ask them to send him to me.  In an orphanage a child will go to anyone who will pick them up.  This is life in an institution.  Now he must learn that I am his person.  His mommy.  He does not need to get his needs met by others.  I feel bad at times, like I am depriving others of the chance to be his buddy....he needs for me to set firm boundaries for him so that he can learn to attach and have healthy relationships, first with me and then with others.  This will take a LONG time.

The first night I put him to sleep he stirs and fidgets a lot.  He "checks" on me.  He reaches for me.  He wants to know that I am still there.  I realize this is an instinct God put inside of us.  He has not needed to learn that this should be so, it should just be so!  It just has not been his reality for the past 2 1/2 years.  He has been in a place that is amazing when compared to others, but there is no way the  nannies can be there to pat backs, wipe tears and rock back to sleep the large number of children in their charge every night.

So I think that first night, he does this, he looks for me, he needs me, but he didn't do this yesterday. Contrary to most of his other Haitian buddies who have since come home, he falls asleep in the dark and quiet.  He also loves to hug his build-a-bear and be snuggled up with his super soft blanket.  Just yesterday he slept in a crib with no "lovies."

The weekend is filled with opportunities for us to build trust with each other.  What does he think of all of this one-on-one time?  Does he just know this is how it is supposed to be so he accepts it?  The smiles he gives me at each bath time, lotion time, jammie time, snack time (and the list goes on) are priceless.  He is not lucky!  He deserves this and he is getting this!

In January I knew him to be a tense, on the go little boy.  He was very quiet all weekend.  I never got a snuggle in January.  Now I get snuggles whenever he or I want.  When he wakes up from a nap or in the morning we snuggle for about 30 minutes.  Is this instinctual?  He didn't do this the day before I came....

God is bonding our hearts.  God is helping him to trust and to feel secure.  God is also healing his body as I have prayed for SO long!  We'll see what the International Adoption Doctor says on the 30th, but besides a cough, I truly believe his body is free from parasites.  This would be miraculous!

The trip home was not an easy one, but I suppose traveling with any 3 year old would be a bit challenging.  I can't even begin to imagine what was going through his mind with every new sight, smell and feeling.  I prayed over his little body constantly.  Airports are so overwhelming.  We made it through immigration in Florida in about 15 minutes....another miracle!  He made it home in the outfit we started the day in even though I had

3 outfits packed for him! We had a couple of meltdowns and the second flight was difficult, but we made it home to a beautiful welcoming party.  The emotions going through me as I went down that escalator at the MPLS/St. Paul Airport was something I cannot explain.  After waiting and waiting, here I was with him in Minnesota.  We made it!

Lord, I thank you for bringing us to this point!  You are sooooo GOOD!  You deserve all of the GLORY and PRAISE!